I was going to post another recipe today, but instead changed my mind
Most people that have met me would say that I am one of the most confident people that they know. I will talk to anyone about anything for any reason. I love meeting new people. I love trying new things. That is just who I am. I have met numerous friends this way – near and far (hello to those in Germany/Luxemburg/Canada and all across the US). I have had some awesome life and career experiences because of this. I wouldn’t change this for the world.
Deep down, I am the most insecure person that I know. I am terrified that I am being judged every moment of every day for any reason. I am always worried that someone won’t like me for one reason or another, that I’m not a good enough or mother or sister or daughter or friend, that people might find me gross because I was fat or because I’m still not at my goal, that my teeth aren’t straight enough or white enough, that my stretch marks and loose skin on my stomach will freak people out, and numerous other reasons. Many of these things are not even rational, I know this, but they are all part of who I am.
While I am able to shake my feelings of insecurity while I have interactions with others, as soon as I am alone with my thoughts they come back. Time spent in my head is not time well spent.
What can I do to get over these feelings? Keep getting my workouts done? Keep cooking? Keep blogging? Try to be a better person all around? Sure, those might work. I think I’m going to choose to say “Screw You, Wake Up, Be Awesome” anytime I start thinking like that. Deep down I know better… I just need to convince myself.