A big personality

A while back I took a Myers-Briggs personality test.  You feel like you are put in a box when given results, but it also gives you insight into why you work better with some people, whether those people are friends or coworkers.

I tested as an ESFJ personality.


Here are some characteristics of that personality (pulled from www.16personalities.com):

  • At their hearts, ESFJ personalities are social creatures, and thrive on staying up to date with what their friends are doing.
  • ESFJs are altruists, and they take seriously their responsibility to help and to do the right thing.
  • ESFJs love to be of service, enjoying any role that allows them to participate in a meaningful way, so long as they know that they are valued and appreciated.
  • ESFJs truly enjoy hearing about their friends’ relationships and activities, remembering little details and always standing ready to talk things out with warmth and sensitivity. If things aren’t going right, or there’s tension in the room, ESFJs pick up on it and to try to restore harmony and stability to the group.
  • ESFJs spend a lot of their energy establishing social order, and prefer plans and organized events to open-ended activities or spontaneous get-togethers. People with this personality type put a lot of effort into the activities they’ve arranged, and it’s easy for ESFJs’ feelings to be hurt if their ideas are rejected, or if people just aren’t interested.
  • ESFJ personalities seek harmony and care deeply about other people’s feelings, being careful not to offend or hurt anybody.
  • A few of ESFJ’s weaknesses include “a strong need to ‘belong’”, “defensive and hurt if someone, especially a person close to them, criticizes them”, and are often “too needy” and “too selfless.”
  • ESFJs are so centered on the physical world and are quite emotional; they tend to be very affectionate and sensual.
  • There’s nothing quite as hurtful to people with the ESFJ personality type as finding out that a trusted friend is critical of their beliefs or habits, except maybe being told so in a direct confrontation.
  • ESFJs have a tendency to believe that their friends can do no wrong, always stepping up to defend them regardless of circumstances, and they expect the same benefit of the doubt in return.
  • ESFJs’ children will always appreciate the sensitivity and warmth that they were raised with, and as time goes on and they have their own children, they will cherish the fact that those children have the benefit of grandparents who love and care for them unconditionally.
  • ESFJs’ best careers all have the additional benefit of providing them with perhaps their most important requirement: to feel appreciated and know they’ve helped someone.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about my personality and who I am over the past few days.  This is who I am.  I do always want to “belong” and do “care deeply about others”, which makes me emotional when things go off the path of “happy-go-lucky” for myself or my friends.  And you know what, I am needy.  Am I ok with it?  No.  Can I change it?  I’m trying, but no guarantees.  I push for friendship and openness because that is how I know how to care, how to love.  The one thing I do know is that I am proud to be ESFJ – I can talk to anyone, I care for everyone, and want to be sure others are as happy as I can be.

What is your personality type?